Tips for creating a successful BDSM dating profile from Julia's blog

Here are some tips on how to create a successful Not So Vanilla dating profile.


Talk about you explicitly, because who you are is more important than what you are looking for. Be positive and enthusiastic. State what things you do want and do like, try to avoid stating anything in the negative such as what you don't want and don't like (unless it's an absolutely deal breaker i.e. smoking). Highlight your best features but don't over or under exaggerate. Be authentic, don't misrepresent yourself in any way.



Be straightforward and specific with what you are seeking. If you are looking for a long term, monogamist relationship then say it.  If you are bisexual, make sure you express that too. The more honest you are in the stats area the easier it will be for you to accurately match with potential dates. BDSM world can seem a little complicated at times, especially if you are new to it. If you are unsure of any of our listed kinks, please go to my other blog post - "WHAT, WHERE AND HOW - our User Profile kinks explained".



Understanding the nature of NSV, you may be tempted to make your username something that shows a sexual competence or a physical feature you are particularly proud of (ahem...!). Please don’t. If you are looking for a successful and fulfilling SM relationship, then you don’t want the first impression of you to be purely sex based. Please don’t use your real name either unless it is a very common one. The right time to reveal more private details will come - for now, try to stay somewhat anonymous. 



It seems like it should go without saying but let’s face it – we have all seen it. You need a right balance between what to keep private and what to reveal to attract the right kind of person.

What you should never put on your dating profile:

Your real name, address or email address (while we do ask for these when creating your profile, it is only for identification purposes.  They will never be disclosed to other members).

Your kid’s names and ages, as well as what schools they attend. (Yup. That also happens!)

Anything specific about your place of work.

Names or personal details of your family, friends or acquaintances.



Make it a good one, as it is the first thing your potential dates will be looking at. Please remember, NSV does not allow explicit photos as our users’ profile pictures so keep it classy. What you share with chosen users, is completely up to you. But – as with anything that goes online – please use your common sense. Use a recent full body shot – you don’t want others to be suspicious of you and your appearance. Confidence and honesty about who you, are always in! Remember that putting too much distance between you and the camera, defeats the point of why you are posting it. Get up close and let people see what you look like.

Don’t include photos that clearly contradict your profile. If you describe yourself as “athletic and toned” and you post photos with a few extra layers (of love), that probably isn’t helping your cause. Different body types are beautiful and people are fine with dating folks of varying shapes and sizes – there is no need to be ashamed of your body (EVER)!

If you absolutely must, post a group photo – make sure that you have permission from others to post it and that your potential dates can see clearly which one you are.

Last but not least, make sure photos you upload are of a good quality. Pictures that are fuzzy, too dark or tiny in size will not get you far.

Anything I might have missed?

Yours truly,



Previous post     
     Next post
     Blog home

The Wall

No comments
You need to sign in to comment


By Julia
Added Sep 5 '16



Your rate:
Total: (0 rates)


Password protected photo
Password protected photo
Password protected photo